I find it difficult to write posts for this blog because the majority of my life at the moment is spent either working on my comprehensive exams (interesting fodder for public consumption they are not) or caring for a small being who exists primarily to eat, shit, sleep, and cry, with occasional bursts of smiles that fool you into thinking babies are the cutest. Motherhood, I know, does provide plenty to write about, but frankly, everything I can think to say about it is so cliche.

Parenting is exhausting. It’s harder than I ever anticipated and in ways I never anticipated. But every other mother has already realized this and those who have not been mothers have read plenty of other mothers who have told them this. The secret is out.

And that is what is so baffling and obnoxious about the whole business. I, too, prior to becoming a mother myself, had read these things. I, too, had friends who told me and read blogs that painted crystal clear pictures of how hard this would be. And STILL. STILL parenting is kicking me in the ass and surprising me with its common cliches. Well played parenthood, well played.

The bitch of it is (yes I do realize there is more cursing than normal in this post; turns out that’s part of parenthood too, at least in our house) that not only do you (and by you I mean me) not want to write about it (because hello whiny and cliche) and not only is it physically and emotionally kicking your ass (and again, by yours I mean mine), but it is also taunting you with its “I told you so”s.

And all of this you realize from the floor of the nursery where you’ve collapsed in pure exhaustion after finally convincing the small being other people refer to as a cute baby to please for the love of all that is holy sleep. Because not only do you have all of these circumstances conspiring against you but you are also dealing with a small person who refuses to use reason and realize that he is so unhappy because he is tired and therefore the smart move would be to sleep more, not less.

And then your husband comes home from work and asks you why you don’t blog anymore.